It's been quite a while since my last post, and a lot has changed since then!
My last post was so positive and life was feeling so good!!
I've not long moved to University down in the beautiful city of Exeter! Although, as beautiful as Exeter is, it's not been an easy start! Feeling a bit edgy about writing this post and always worried how people will react or what they'll think, nevertheless...
I've not been getting on well with some of the university aspects; clubbing, new people, the course and student living!
Trying to put it all off and think positively is starting to take its toll and the reality is starting to hit me. When I first moved into my flat, I became really good friends with one of the girls and found out she was a christian! I was so pleased and thought this year would be great as we would have each other. After a couple of weeks at uni, she decided it wasn't for her, and the other night she came and collected all of her stuff and dropped out.
It's not that I don't like my course, or that I don't like clubbing. It's that my course is pretty tough (makes me feel a bit dumb) and my flatmates want to go out at every opportunity and get absolutely wasted! - I like going out, but not every night!
My anxiety levels seem to have gone up again as I feel easily overwhelmed and unable to cope with my emotions and am getting very good at isolating myself in my room and only leaving if I really have to! I'm going to try and write on here more - I think it helps to get it out of my system. I'm very good at not admitting when I'm suffering and assuming I can just pull through by myself by brushing it under the carpet. I guess that's something I should work on.
We'll see how things change in weeks to come - I hate the unknown!